INTERVIEW: Podge and Rodge

The running joke was RTE would cancel Podge and Rodge’s controversial show, but they’ve survived and have recently started a new series of their weekly show. The two O'Leprocy brothers talk frankly to Michelle MacMullan, the easily offended should tune out now.

Have you ever been mistaken for someone famous?
Rodge: Someone mistook me for Bono once.
Podge: No; they mistook you for a bonobo.
Rodge: And someone once thought I was you!
Podge: What? Who? A feckin blind man??

Do you make celebrity demands?
Podge: No. We’re country boys at heart. A cup of tea and a hand shandy and we’re good to go!
Rodge: At the Meteors, I asked for a key to the Pussycat Doll’s dressing room as well as some 2-ply tissues and a bottle of red Cadet. Never got the key.

What was the last showbiz party you were at?
Podge: We never get asked to any.
Rodge: All our guests hang out in those trendy clubs in Dublin - Lillettes and Maynards, but they’ve always been full when I try and go because I’m always turned away.

What’s your best chat-up line?
Podge: I’m lord of me own manor! I don’t need a chat up line!
Rodge: Any chance of a tug?

Are you both natural redheads?
Podge: Of course. Although I have to say, I’m thinning down below. Looks a bit like Ron Howard down there these days.
Rodge: At the moment mine don’t match as I was trying out that new Fun Betty pubic dye. So it’s kinda pink at the mo. And itchy.

Do you have any tips for redheads who want to pull girls?
Podge: Leave the lights off.
Rodge: Don’t use pubic hair dye.

‘Bald’ Brittney, would you?
Podge: Still waiting for her to return my calls.
Rodge: Bald, hairy, insane, fat, skinny, in rehab…any which way I still would!

Have you ever considered batting for the other team?
Podge: Never.
Rodge: I don’t know; cricket’s become pretty popular since we won the world cup. Never say never Podge!

Describe your dream date?
Podge: Good personality, sense of humour and 24 hour fanny access!
Rodge: One heartbeat, three holes. And she’d probably need that sense of humour too.

Women’s rights, nonsense or necessary?
Podge: Absolutely necessary! Women have rights too. The right to clean the jacks, the right to own a good saucepan to cook with, the right to wear crotchless underwear. And the right to dance around a pole with nothing on but a smile.
Rodge: Hear hear Podge!

What do you do when you think no one else is watching?
Podge: I have a good collection of…em…Arthouse filums. Dutch ones.
Rodge: Well, I fiddle with meself through my trouser pocket rather than pulling them down around me ankles. It only leads to arrest.

What do you think the Rugby World Cup?
Podge: It’s a ponces’ game! They should never have let them near the hallowed ground of Croker!

What three words best describe students?
Podge: Cheap, annoying…
Rodge: …and easy!

Who will you vote for in the next general election?
Podge: Whoever knocks on my door and offers me a bribe.
Rodge: Is Charlie Haughey still going? He’s got my vote.

You’ve been given 24 hours to live, what do you do?
Podge: Post myself to Caroline Morahan’s gaff. Actually, 24 hours? Better make that Swiftpost!
Rodge: Take a leaf out of Paul Stokes book and drive a Micra into RTE!

The Podge and Rodge Show is on RTE Two on Monday and Tuesday nights. This article was first published in student magizine Slant, before the summer.